What do beach balls, gospel robes, and delirious optimism have in common? You can find them all in abundance at a typical college graduation.

I just got back from seeing Lil’ Sis walk across that stage this weekend, and I felt like I was watching some kind of cult initiation ceremony. Creepy ceremonial gowns: check. Medieval-looking scrolls: check. Outrageous promises of the world to come: check. Long line of old dudes wearing even creepier ceremonial gowns: double check. I mean, I get it: it’s exciting to celebrate four years of hard work with all your BFF’s and LYLAS’s. It’s just hard to relate since I don’t enjoy flashing a peace sign and doing kissy face nearly as much as she does, and from what I saw, that is now a requirement for all graduation photos.

Lil’ Sis and I had drastically different college experiences. She was in a sorority and on yearbook committee, I had dreadlocks and talked about the patriarchy a lot. She’s going pre-law, I double-majored in Photography and Paranormal Science. But I guess that’s how sisterhood works. You embarrass the hell out of each other, and it makes you both stronger people for it. Anyway I think we’re getting closer now that she’s old enough to have a glass of wine with me. For once, we agree on something.

Now if only I could get her to stop wearing pants that have words on the butt.